Making the most of counselling
Counselling is not a magic bullet
It's important to remember that therapy does not always work. There are hundreds of different types of counselling and psychotherapy out there, and what may work for one person may not be successful for another. It can sometimes feel like a minefield! Indeed, I know when I was considering my qualification route to becoming a counsellor, the different theoretical models I could train in felt incredibly overwhelming.
But you stand a better chance with the right therapist
Some of what makes therapy effective is the relationship that you build with your counsellor. That’s why you must find a therapist and style of therapy that is right for you. Someone with whom you feel comfortable sharing personal experiences. Someone who you can be honest with. Someone who will work collaboratively with you towards your goals and tailor their approach to your unique situation. A professional that you feel has your best interests at heart and who will gently challenge you to build your resilience, come to terms with what you are going through and enable you to take small steps forward. However, effective counselling is not just about this relationship. Indeed, you play a significant part in your own journey.
Therapy involves personal commitment…
And, yes, it is work! When you come for counselling, you are committing to doing that work. Much like aching muscles after a strenuous gym session, counselling can feel hard. Sometimes you may feel like you have nothing to bring to a session. Though, in my experience, clients are often surprised at what they talk about when they have nothing to bring. At other times, the thought of attending therapy may feel challenging. You will be working on your emotions, talking about subjects that may feel upsetting, challenging or shameful. You’ll need to come prepared to be confronted with who you are, the good parts and the bits you’re not so comfortable with. The more you get used to exploring your personal experiences, the easier it will become. Therapy is your chance to develop self-awareness and get a better understanding of who you are and how you’ve come to be.
Knowing when you are ready
The short answer is that you can never really know if now is the right time. However, if there are aspects about your current life experiences that feel challenging, that are affecting your day to day life and that, perhaps you are feeling unable to talk about with others, this may be the time to work towards positive change.
If you feel that now might just be that time, I'd be happy to have an initial 15-minute free, online consultation with you to discuss your circumstances and see if I might be the right fit. There's no obligation whatsoever to continue but I'd love to help if I can. You can contact me at christine@thelosstherapist.co.uk
For further information please refer to BACP. (2020). Good Practice across the Counselling Professions 004: What works in counselling and psychotherapy relationships. https://www.bacp.co.uk/media/9667/bacp-what-works-counselling-psychotherapy-relationships-gpacp004-sep20.pdf