The power of vulnerability: what Jamie Laing taught us
Jamie Laing's achievement last week, which saw him raise more than £2 million for Comic Relief by running five 30-mile ultramarathons in five days, was nothing short of remarkable. For a man who hadn't run more than 24+ kilometres before the challenge, his stamina, drive, grit and sheer determination were awe-inspiring. At several points along the way, he seemed broken, defeated and unable to continue. Yet, somehow, with the help and support of his Radio One co-hosts, his friends, family, and with a nation behind him, he picked himself up and continued. His display of strength, courage and determination was coupled with a vulnerability that we rarely get to witness from those in the public eye and even less so for those identifying as male. While the achievement itself no doubt inspired many, it was his ability to let down his walls, allow us to see him at his lowest and his most broken which was his strength.
He set himself an almost impossible task. In the wake of that near-impossible challenge, Jamie showed us just how much our minds and bodies can withstand. Physically and mentally, we can put them through hell, but somehow, they will carry us through. These bodies and brains which we've each been given are amazingly resilient and I'm lucky enough to see that on a daily basis in the therapy room. However, it's not the resilience that's important. What Jamie showed us is that the only way he was physically able to push through was by being open with others about how much he was struggling. In sharing how he felt, Jamie helped to lighten his mental and emotional load and let others shoulder some of the burden for him. The power of which I am all too aware of as a psychotherapist.
While Jamie may have had the entire weight of a Radio One audience and an enormous monetary incentive to continue, what was pretty evident was that it was the support from others that allowed him to get there. We won't all have the luxury of such an enormous support structure. However, as humans, we're designed to be in community with others, and what's clear is that his achievement is unlikely to have been possible without all of those who gave him hope, inspiration, encouragement, energy, care and compassion throughout the five days. Our support structures are a literal lifeline and can be the thing that pulls us through our darkest times.
Jamie's generosity of spirit, coupled with his energy, and willingness to talk so openly with his friends and fellow Radio One co-hosts about his struggles, both past and present, opened the door for others to do the same. It even encouraged one of his fellow presenters to seek out therapy for the first time! We can't underestimate the power of our words and our actions, particularly from those in the public eye. Those words influence and inspire others to take action (for good and for harm). Jamie is one of many flag bearers of this generation who show us that it's okay to talk about difficult things, express emotions and show others how we feel and what we're going through. Without wanting to talk myself out of a job, my hope is that this will inspire others to do the same. The more we can be open about what's causing us distress and seek support from others (including people like me), the less likely it is that many of us will reach a crisis point. That can only ever be a good thing!
Congratulations, Jamie, and, in your own words, "vulnerability makes you brave."