Mindfulness: myths and misconceptions

Mindfulness has become a 21st-century buzzword in Western civilisations, synonymous with the wellness industry that can sometimes feel over-used and over-emphasised. However, there are many genuine evidence-based psychological and therapeutic benefits to the practice of mindfulness. Indeed, I use mindfulness and breathing with some of my clients to ground, calm and soothe their nervous systems at times of heightened stress or anxiety. It's a practice I've actually really struggled with myself, particularly at times of heightened stress or emotional dysregulation and something I've taken great pains to develop with time and patience. And, over time, it has become a critical tool in my arsenal for helping when I'm feeling distressed or getting caught up in unhelpful narratives in my head. In another blog post, I focus on its specific benefits. However, here I want to focus on some of the misconceptions that I often hear from clients in the therapy room, and which can be significant blockers to their openness to engage in being mindful.

Mindfulness myths and misconceptions

Isn't mindfulness a spiritual practice?

Although mindfulness can be associated with elements of Buddhist tradition and draws on key components of their practice, it's not linked to Buddhist beliefs or lifestyle. The aim of mindfulness is to engage in what's happening within and around us in the here and now, without judgement and using breathing or something else, for instance, touch, as an anchor. Mindfulness is a practice I encourage clients to make their own, whether it's focusing on their breathing, engaging in formal mindfulness exercises, being in nature and focusing on the rustle of the leaves, the sounds of water flowing, the smell of sea air or just being at home bringing your attention to how your hands feel in the soft, warm, soapy bubbles as you're doing the washing up.

Doesn't mindfulness just mean meditation?

Meditation can be a form of mindfulness. However, that's not all mindfulness is. Mindfulness is a practice that keeps us focused on the present, teaching us to disentangle from our difficult thoughts and feelings, creating some distance from them. It teaches us to just notice difficult thoughts when they intrude, without judgement and asks us to turn our attention back to our breathing. Mindfulness can form part of our daily life and routine, by allowing ourselves to notice things or be present in the moment, interrupting our mind's tendency to focus on challenging thoughts.

Don't I need to empty my mind?

This is one of the most common misconceptions. I've lost count of the number of clients I've heard tell me they "can't do" mindfulness because they can't quieten their minds. When we engage in mindfulness, we're not trying to rid ourselves of our thoughts. What we're trying to do is refocus our attention onto the present moment, for example, our breathing, the physical sensations in our body, an imagery exercise (for those able to engage in visual imagery), the physical properties of an object or anything else that may ground us in the here and now. And when we do start to notice thoughts arising, we notice them and kindly and gently return our attention back to the mindful activity we're engaging in.

But I need to be somewhere quiet.

While being somewhere quiet can help, it's not always possible and, for some, silence can feel quite scary. Particularly those who've suffered recent trauma or abuse. Silence leaves us alone with our thoughts and, for some, this can exacerbate feelings of threat. While mindfulness can actually be helpful for trauma and abuse survivors, it's important to work with where we are right now and not push ourselves. Whether you enjoy silence or not, whether you can find a space in your day to be silent or not, the point of mindfulness is that you can engage in it at any moment in your day by just allowing yourself to focus on the present and immersing yourself in your senses (for instance when washing your hair, brushing your teeth or even eating).

Mindfulness is easy

Mindfulness can be a great tool because it's accessible to anyone and you don't need anything particular to engage in it. However, like any tool or technique (and, in fact, much like psychological or physical therapy or exercise), it needs practice. It's likely to feel difficult initially, you may feel disheartened, you may want to disengage when you don't see immediate benefit. However, like anything that involves effort (e.g. learning a new language, strengthening a muscle, taking on a new job), if you invest time in it, it will get easier and may even become second nature.

Isn't mindfulness just about thinking more positively?

Although mindfulness can help us create some distance from our more painful thoughts and emotions, it doesn't mean we'll automatically think more positively. We're not trying to change or challenge our thoughts but, rather, change our relationship with them. Bringing a more compassionate voice to our negative thoughts takes time and practice. However, what mindfulness can do is allow us to notice, acknowledge and validate our thoughts and emotions and allow us to respond differently to them, perhaps giving us more opportunity to pay greater attention to the things in our lives that give us purpose and pleasure.

Shouldn't I be feeling relaxed?

Although this can happen, it's not what we're aiming for. Mindfulness is about enhancing our awareness of our experiences in the here and now. Some mindfulness practices that ask us to focus on our difficult emotions or physical pain are not relaxing, however, they encourage us to explore our experiences with curiosity.

In summary, what's most important to remember is that mindfulness, like therapy, trying a new activity or learning a new skill will feel hard at first. It takes practice. It takes dedication, openness and a willingness to try something new. It's not necessarily going to work for you, but, much like therapy, if you're motivated and engaged to give it a try, then you stand a better chance. And don't be afraid to discuss it with your therapist, and if you're curious, ask them to give it a go. It's important they work at your pace, in collaboration and that they bear in mind any nuances in your past and current experiencing that could be triggered by engaging in mindfulness practice.