Demystifying psychological support: What we’ll explore in therapy

If you've not read it already, and want to get a general overview of how engaging in psychological support works and how I might support you, then read my recent blog post: How does therapy work?

For all those interested, and particularly those who've not engaged in psychological support before, I've written this post to try and demystify the counselling and therapeutic process and give you an idea of the types of things we might discuss. The amount of and extent to which we cover each of the below will depend on numerous factors, including but not limited to your current circumstances, your willingness and motivation to engage in therapy, what you want to change or what you'd like to be different, how long you wish to commit to psychological support and the complexity of your life experiences. This is, by no means, an exhaustive list but I hope it will give you more of an idea of the types of things you can expect to discuss and explore during a course of therapy with me.

Exploring your current distress or difficulties:

We might consider the challenges you’re facing, what's causing you most distress and what may keep you stuck. We might explore how your identity and distress have been informed by the context of your wider environment (e.g. social, structural, relational, cultural, and spiritual factors) and any recent life events that may have occurred. We may think about the behaviours or actions you might be taking that may be adding to your distress. In doing so, we'll aim to help you understand and make sense of your experiences and life story.

Working with your inner experiences:

We might explore your emotions, feelings, sensations, thoughts, memories and beliefs. We'll consider what it means to be you and how you experience the world. We'll think about when these inner experiences appear, how you experience them, what their function is, and what is helpful and unhelpful about them. We might discuss your motivations, assumptions and biases about yourself, others and the world. For some, this can be a particularly difficult part of the therapeutic process. Often clients have learned very effective coping strategies to suppress or keep these inner experiences at bay so as not to cause themselves additional distress. In focusing on these areas, the aim is to help make sense of your emotional responses to your life experiences and help you process and understand these inner responses. We'll focus on helping you notice and reconnect with these experiences, maybe becoming more accepting of your suffering and the inevitability of difficult thoughts, feelings and sensations as understandable reactions to difficult circumstances. However, there is a major caveat here! Acceptance is not an approach used for individuals where acceptance of internal experiences or external environments may be dangerous, for instance, in circumstances of intimate partner violence or abuse.

Understanding what you’ve lost:

We might talk about and remember what or who you have lost, the impact it or they have had on your life and how it or they have shaped you. We may consider how your loss impacts your life moving forward and any future plans that are now uncertain or changed. We might Identify any unhealthy patterns, thoughts or behaviours that may be unhelpful. We may consider your new identity following your loss, what it means for you and any difficult feelings and emotions associated with it. Finally, we might think about any opportunities for learning and growth as a consequence of your loss. In doing so, the aim is to help you acknowledge your grief and readjust and adapt to a world in which someone or something is now or has been missing. Ultimately, the hope is that you will make sense of, and perhaps find meaning and purpose in what you've lost and a world that has fundamentally changed.

Exploring a sense of who you are, who you want to be and any hopes for the future:

We might consider the cultural, societal and relational environments that have shaped who you are and how you experience the world and others. We may take a more future-focused, developmental and coaching approach, considering what you'd like to be different and what keeps you stuck. We might explore the assumptions and beliefs that may be limiting movement in your desired direction. We might consider your motivations, drivers and values to redefine what is important and what you find meaningful in life. We may work towards defining and committing to specific actions, behaviours or goals that will help to move you in your desired direction. In doing so, the aim is to develop a greater sense of self-awareness and have a new appreciation for your hopes, dreams, desires, wants and needs, what you value and what's important. By developing this new sense of who you are, the hope is that you can live a life focusing on what matters to you.

Working with relationships, including the therapeutic relationship:

We might consider your ways of relating to yourself, the world and those around you, any patterns or ways of being in relationships that might be causing distress or keeping you stuck. We might think about how these relationship templates have formed, what is and was helpful about them and consider if there are things you may want to change. We may think about how your past experiences and relationships have shaped the way you think and feel about yourself and others. We might explore what the therapeutic relationship might tell us about your relationships with others and the world. The therapeutic relationship is one of several factors that may influence change. It’s a way for you to experience a different type of relationship that is safe, boundaried, respectful, free from judgements, open, accepting, welcoming, caring, nurturing and supportive. However, at times, we might recognise old habits, behaviours or ways of thinking within the therapeutic relationship that were once helpful but may no longer be, and we might discuss these openly. In doing so, the aim is to help you reconnect with a more authentic version of yourself and build alternative ways of relating to yourself, others and the world that reduce your distress and help move you closer to who you want to be.

While there are common themes within psychotherapy sessions, engaging in a psychological or therapeutic process is different for each person because each of you has a set of unique circumstances that have shaped you. You will also have different hopes for the therapeutic process and what you’d like to change. In this way, psychological support will need to be tailored to what you need and want from therapy at any given moment. If, after reading this post, you'd like to explore whether now might be the right time to engage in some psychological support, then please feel free to contact me. I'm happy to have a free introductory call with you to check whether we are the right fit, and I feel capable of supporting you.