How does therapy work?
An ever-evolving journey of discovery
What you'll take from psychotherapy depends on what you're coming for and what you hope to achieve. Much like starting a health and fitness journey, you may come with a goal that may morph and change over time as you grow, develop strength and reframe what's important. If we stick with the health and fitness analogy, at first, your goal may be to walk a mile. As you get fitter, you may want to try a couch to 5k. Once you've achieved that, you start to get the bug, and now you want to do a park run once a week. Then you progress to 10km, and, eventually, you decide you want to try a triathlon. I appreciate that fitness may not be your cup of tea or that it might not be possible if you have long-term physical health conditions or other disabilities that limit you from engaging in such activities. However, I'm hoping those for whom this analogy isn't appropriate can still resonate with the sentiment.
The main message to convey is that should you want it to be, therapy can be an ever-evolving journey. We may start by exploring current challenges that are making day-to-day life difficult. As time goes on, you may want to think about how you've become who you are, you might wish to process or make sense of past trauma or explore your childhood and how it relates to your way of being in the world now. Later, you might wish to navigate the twists and turns of your ever-changing life experiences or start considering your future and what gives you meaning and purpose. The point I suppose I'm trying to make is that psychotherapy and psychological support can be whatever you need it to be at any given moment. What's important is we're both clear on what might be different for you as a consequence of engaging in a therapeutic relationship and that you have the motivation to engage with it even when it feels tough.
My role as a psychotherapist and psychologist
For those who've not embarked on therapy before, it can be a daunting prospect. It may feel like a dark art, shrouded in mystery. Therapists are, by their nature, boundaried. We tend not to share too much of ourselves because sessions are focused on you. It can also sometimes feel quite unclear how a therapist or psychologist is using their extensive scientific and psychological training to inform the sessions because they don't tend to provide advice and guidance (though some of us do throw in some psychoeducation every now and again), but rather want you to come to your own conclusions about your struggles and how to move forward.
So, what does that mean in practice? When we're in the room together, my role is more of an art than a science. I'll keep one foot firmly, but lightly, grounded in psychological theory and use that to inform the questions, comments, reflections or gentle challenges I make, all while staying with what it is you're focused on and bearing in mind your individual circumstances and context. Anything I ask or say is designed to help move you closer to where you want to be.
A unique and healing relationship
Therapy is a pretty unique process, so each person will experience it differently. You're likely to have a different experience with each therapist, counsellor, or psychologist you work with. Just like every friendship is different, each therapeutic relationship is unique because each person in the relationship brings different experiences, skills, personal qualities and characteristics, knowledge, understanding and clinical intuition into the room. That may sound worrying and, perhaps, a little unscientific, but part of how we heal is because of the relationship itself, and each therapist is likely to guide you in learning and understanding yourself in their own unique way. That's why you need to find someone that feels like the right fit for you: someone you can open up to and share whatever is troubling you.
That's not to say there isn't consistency between psychotherapists and psychologists. We may go about it in slightly different ways and use different psychological theories to inform what and how we might say something. However, the basis of what we will explore with you is fairly similar, depending on our particular specialisms.
Want to learn more? Feel free to contact me and we can have an introductory call to consider how we might work together.
If you'd like to learn more about the sorts of things we might talk about it therapy or what might be different after a course of psychotherapy then please read my other blog posts:
Demystifying psychological support: What we'll explore in therapy?